My Darling Terrorist

          There was an exceptional breeze on this fall afternoon. We were in the French Quarters visiting friends and the atmosphere was full of love. One of our closest friends came into town. We're all reminiscing. We had one of our sons sitting in a stroller and he was calm and happy! He coos as we enjoyed perusing the busy streets of New Orleans.

         My toddler, my loving little charmer, held an adult's hand and walked briskly. He was eager and excited. It had been a week of fun at the park with Mommy. That day was an exceptional one because he got to have his hero with him. Daddy is the epitome of greatness. So his heart swooned with obedience. Daddy works hard but weekends are for filling his cup to the brim with love so that he can charge into the next work week knowing he is appreciated and recognized for all that he does for us.

            We watched children turn buckets into drums and some people sang. There was art, culture, and history surrounding us so we were definitely in our zone. Everyone knows that New Orleans is for loving.

          Our village is small but full of love! Friends and family are something that we cherish dearly and it's always fun to have them around. Our hearts were content and then suddenly my little terrorist reared his ugly head.

          I am not speaking of a third child. As you all may know by now, I only have two. The darling little charmer turned into my Little Terrorist in the matter of seconds. He decided, as any toddler would, that he was done with walking for the day. I watched him look around strategically. Then howl!

          "Aaahhhhhhh donnnn't want to walk!!!"

          My mind swirled into a frenzy. Where did this terrorist come from. We gave him snacks, juice, and let him walk independently for a while (not very long but certainly long enough given the atmosphere). Nothing kept him at bay. So there we were. A stand off. A showdown of sorts. What were we going to do next.

           "Okay sweetie. Then we're going home and I'm afraid you will be walking to the car."

           "Nooooooo!!!!!!"

           That response started an onslaught of foolery. Kicking, screaming, howling, and yes actual tears.

          One question must have come to your mind by now. Was I embarrassed? That is a very hard question to answer. It has to be described in a way that will also make other people who love children wake up and understand something.

          I do NOT negotiate with terrorists. They are the enemy when you are under attack. I am referring to terrorist of any kind.

          Terrorist Trolls (on the Internet and in the flesh) no longer get a reply. If you're being negative I will react with silence to you and treat you with kindness the next time I see you. I can't be affected by you being a Debbie Downer because you are misunderstanding something I have said or you are holding on to something that I felt and said in defense of myself or someone else in the past. Whether the past was three years ago or moments. Get over it. One would be surprised at how many jaded emotions I personally let go of within seconds to try to have a better day. You are a terrorist. I will ignore that.

          I am referring to terrorist family members who have a way of trying to hold on to any dispute that ever came between us and expect me to care about it past a week or month. Or maybe an argument that never ensued but was secretly wished for. Family that just wants to be mean, rude, and negative towards any and everything going on in their or my life. I promise you that your particular brand of terror no matter how long it lasts won't effect me. I will not negotiate with the enemy.

          I am also referring to terrorist friends /or frenemies both known and unknown. Terrible arguments of benign or inaccurate thoughts from misinformation we have towards each other or a situation can no longer get the best of me. Unless friction collides into me there is no need to remain angry, bitter, or negative so I do not negotiate with those types of terrorist either.

          Now in terms of my son, a charming little character, who can flip on a switch and become a terrorist in the matter of seconds. No! I am not embarrassed and no I will not negotiate with him. He is a child. What I do during these spontaneous combustions will set a trend for all other situations. However, the unfortunate thing is that I have an emotionally intuitive child. He saw our reaction which was befuddlement and thought it would transition into embarrassment. When it really transitioned into mild annoyance to his dramatic antics. He continued to berate us down the street.

          One piece of advice I must offer innocent judgmental strangers who watch a scenario such as this; stay out of it.

          An innocent stranger walked up to my child and said, "Hey, you're too handsome to be crying like that. How about if we walk a little now, then I will carry you later."

          There were so many things swirling through my mind. So many that I honestly fought off my inner terrorist. You see anyone can be a terrorist, even you. I did not negotiate with my inner terrorist that day, nor do I anymore. So I just remained silent. I always have that right.  Although, she had to be stark raving mad if she thought she was going to pick up my kid.

          My toddler grew silent and walked a while. Then he looked back and reached for his father. He was ready to be carried. When he was told no once again, he fell into rage. The terrorist attack continued to ensue.

          I understood the stranger's approach. She wanted to show us that sometimes you just have to play mind games with a child so they will calm down and behave appropriately in public. To all strangers who do this. Stop it. The only thing you showed my clever little master mind was that if you're a cute kid (and I'm not being arrogant; this kid is cute) someone will try to save you from your parents' decisions. I'm his mother and his father was standing right there. Under minding me was not welcomed. It's ridiculous. All you proved stranger and co-conspirator with the enemy, was that children will always behave differently for other people than they do with their parents. Not to mention I didn't ask for your help. We do not know each other. Be careful onlookers of foolery, sometimes it seems like one should just assist a parent in need. I assure you, if they don't know you, they will not be pleased by your assistance. Not to mention a child cannot and never will be too CUTE to cry! I'm trying to raise the kind of MAN that is not too cute for anything or anyone. Children shouldn't cry if nothing is wrong with them. Children shouldn't make a scene because it is rude, distracting, and unnecessary. It's uncivilized. Children need to respect the words and authority of their parents period. If you aren't acting in anyway to support and reinforce the parents' rule during a display of terrorist behavior, then you my friend are a terrorist too.

          Sometimes parents are wrong, but I assure you, minding your own business even then, innocent onlookers, will serve their needs. I appreciate the point the onlooker tried to make but it wasn't well made. In the end, I still didn't negotiate with terrorism that day. My darling toddler returned to me by the end of the evening. He kissed my cheek and told me he loved me that night after I read to him and put him to bed too.