All of the Lights
There are so many good things that I received from my family that I can't talk about them all. One thing that I am proud to mention is our ability to debate each other constantly and find a way to reason with one another to see each other's point of view. It taught me to think for myself, respect the thoughts of others, argue my own ideas, and stand firm in my beliefs. However, it also helped me to change my opinion if there were facts and notions that positive and viably made sense. We picked on each other constantly until our skin was tougher and our understanding was more mature.
My uncles are so wonderful, not perfect, no human being is. I mean they helped raise me so clearly in my direct reflection of them, they were flawed. On a more serious note, they mean the world to me. All of them. When you are raised by five different men and have brothers to boot you are going to gain a great deal of perspective but in a more hands on way.
Lessons came in every way imaginable. I learned not to take what life throws my way so serious from Uncle Red. I laugh at myself and shrug off my short comings. Uncle Powell taught me to see the punch lines, participate in fist to cuffs, and to be tough. Bob, weave, and keep my chin up through life's punches. Uncle Freck taught me that no matter how mean and how tough a person is there is a soft side to everyone. I alway apologize, show love, share, cook, treat others to the gifts that God's given me. Uncle Ice taught me to love myself and my culture, no matter what I was called, no matter where I come from. Thanks to him I have the confidence to hold my head high, where my crown, and except my reflection in the mirror. Uncle Hook taught me to be fun, have tolerance, and patience.
Uncle Hook was fun to be around. He was the type of person to tell you to get up early and be ready to go. A kid could easily find himself on an adventure to the park, museum, or science center. He made things easy to learn. Instead of educating at me, he listened to me talk, and made great examples that I have taken with me everywhere.
I used to follow him around. I started reading the Funnies section of the newspaper because he loved them. His favorite was Calvin and Hobbs. He purchased a book of Calvin and Hobbs that was pretty much bound into a graphic novel. Since he loved it, I read it from cover to cover.
I used to hop in the car with him every time he asked if I wanted to go for a ride. We would listen to music that ranged from rock and roll to the blues.
"Never limit yourself Ericka. Let me tell you something. You will mess yourself up only listening to one type of music, only watching one kind of movie, only thinking one kind of way. You're better than that. There is good stuff out here if you just give it a chance. Don't be trapped in a bubble of your own comfort zone because of where you're from or how you are raised." He said this as he gestured his hands waving them in the air.
We wouldn't go anywhere in particular. We would just ride. He told me how important it was to be able to close your mouth sometimes and go with the flow. Relax, hang out with different types of people in different types of places and learn something new from them. Learn something from other people and their experiences. He taught me to appreciate new experiences and respect other peoples experience as well. One of my favorite things to learn about is different cultures thanks to him.
There were always lessons during those car rides. The current climate of the country brings a lesson to mind.
One evening we were riding and it was dark outside. The back roads in the country are poorly lit and narrow. I was 14 and I didn't know how to drive. A man driving on the opposite side of the road turned on his bright lights. They were so bright that they blinded us on our side of the road.
"He is rude. I know he sees us." I said irritated.
"I don't think he is doing it on purpose. He may not even realize that he has them on anymore. No big deal Stick Lady," said Uncle Hook. He called me one of the many nicknames they gave me as a child.
"Well they need to. We're right here driving on this side and we can't see. There isn't enough road for that!" I exclaimed with attitude.
We were driving on a one lane highway and there were ditches on both sides of us. One false move, going the wrong speed, and we could end up stuck in one of those ditches.
"Let me ask you this, should I put my brights on to get back at the other driver?" He asked earnestly. He used a tone that suggested I respond, what should he do? He waited patiently for my answer.
I thought seriously about it for a moment, then replied.
"No, that wouldn't solve anything. If we can't see, and they can't see; then all of us will end up in a car accident for sure. We both can't ride around blind."
"Exactly. Now you're thinking. Just remember that applies to everything."
I'm not sure if he meant for me to remember this lesson and eventually apply it to life but I have.
Today, I feel like Americans are riding around with there emotional bright lights on blinding others. Some people honestly don't mean to, while others are out to just reek havoc on us all because they are culturally misinformed. Something made them cut those lights of prejudice and intolerance on and people on the opposite side of it are cutting theirs on too. So we are all riding around blinded by our emotions and irresponsibly crashing into each other out of rage and audacious backlash. I have been there, and despite being raised better I have been berated into a crash or two. Today I can tell you that we need to be the kind of people who can think and not be blinded by another person's thoughts and emotions. We are a Nation full of differences. In order to grow together, we have to have people who can take a step back, look at the road, and think about what would happen if we are all riding around blind. Let's not all end up in a ditch.
