Mutineer and Terror on Tiller
“Lord please save her for me, do this one favor for me
I had to change my player ways, got way too complicated for me
I hope she's waiting for me
Everywhere she go, they playin' my song
That's why I say the things that I say that way I know you can't ignore me
But so, so
So gimme all of you in exchange for me
Just give me all of you in exchange for me, for me
Break it down, yeah…”
I listened to my son sing along to this Bryson Tiller song on the radio and I giggled to myself as I snuck a peak of my handsome little terrorists’ reflections in the rear viewing mirror. Harnessed in their car The Sweet Little Mutineer (my youngest son of a year old) sat beside My Darling Terrorist (my oldest son) swaying his head from side to side in acknowledgment. My Darling Terrorist pretended he was the singer. His head swayed back and forth as he immersed himself into his imagination by closing his eyes; allowing himself to feel emotion from the words in the song. His body language suggested that he understood what he was saying. Knowing full well that he had no clue, the comedy for me continued during most of the car ride.
It was amusing until it dawned on me. One day my sweet little bundles of love would love women one day and may experience the exact feelings the oldest was singing about. They could very well have the same emotions as the song as described by the artist. One day my little heart throbs could become somebody’s heart ache. If they aren’t careful with the privileges that come with loving another, they would have to pray the lord would place it on some young lady’s mind to one day forgive them. They would only pray for a mere glance back in their direction once more. They will desire for the women they love to give them another chance to get lost in love with them again.
Yea… about THOSE thoughts. The thought of them in love freaked me out entirely. I thought on it hard as I drove silently to their school to drop them off at their early learning center. If you don’t know, I have two sons that have completely stopped my heart from beating on its own from the moment of their inception. For a brief second during delivery part of myself died and was reborn to live better for them because being someone better for your children is a parental right. They completely restored my soul and gave me a new way of looking at life. I am aware that what I am saying is an age-old adage that every parent says. If you are wondering, yes, every parent is right. Children just change you (or at least they’re supposed to).
Personally, I feel, as every parent should, that my children are handsome little gentlemen. Now, I hope you can fully comprehend why I suffered devastation at the mere notion that I may raise men that could one day become their own men, with God given free will, and break the hearts of some unlucky women. It just left me in dismay.
Frantically I thought, “Goodness, I am just trying to raise them right. During muffled cries those little girls are going to blame me. Then the girl’s mothers will blame me. JESUS, society will blame me too! Nope, they can’t, do it. I will not allow that foolishness. They’re going to learn today! Not on my damn watch. Ha! Not up in my damn house. Snap though… kids grow up and leave just to do stuff they would never do under their parent’s roof. Shit! What can I do to prevent all of this?”
Instantly, I wanted to strategize and fortify a fool proof plan. The words free will kept swirling around my mind and it placed me in a bit of a funk. Damn, is there any way that I can prevent it. Are there any fool proof guides to parenting that can prevent my sons from breaking the hearts of young women one day? I thought across all the times I hugged my sons and told them that they are princes. Kings in training so to speak. I thought about how I whisper words of encouragement and affirmation into their ears after our prayers at night. I try hard to speak positive affirmations into their lives. I even speak to them about the respect they will have for all people in general.
The hopeless thought of free will took over my heart. It pained me to have to accept the fact that I know no matter what I say to my sons, their destiny is paved out in front of them. Their journeys aren’t mine to prevent harsh lessons from occurring and if I push too hard or bail them out with solutions the lesson will render those lessons meaningless. The lessons that life will bring them will come no matter what I do to prevent them. More importantly, I will continue to pour goodness into them but remember that everything they choose to do in life won’t be my fault.
Loving a woman correctly these days happens to get lost in translation from time to time. Our busy schedules in our fast-paced society prevent old fashioned values from being cherished and passed on to future generations. There is literally an entire generation of youngsters and/or immature adults out here that think that love is not something that can be experienced for long durations of time. Dedicated to destroying the classic institution of monogamy (which is sometimes seen by these people as symbols of monotony), the trend of two people spending the rest of their lives together has become taboo. However, the alternative life style breeds so much insecurity, negativity, and stressful suspense into the world that it ruins the purpose that love serves.
Obviously, I can’t appreciate this view of love. S0metime there is irreparable damage caused when people crash into each other during reckless encounters of “love-lessness,” in pursuit of that basic human need called touch. Making love comes with unknown responsibilities for most. Afterward we find ourselves lusting and behaving as if we haven’t formed soul ties to one another that cause feelings of insecurity in one another. So much so, that when we are finally ready to take a chance at the dream of everlasting togetherness we can’t even love the one person we have fallen for in the manner in which they need and deserve to be loved. Yes, I agree, monogamy isn’t for everyone, but I can’t help but not want the eternal life of promiscuity for my sons. I don’t want my future Kings to think their Queens are disposable. In turn that leads my sons to being disposable too. I want my boys to one day comprehend that although they may never fully understand women, valuing her, her opinion, her time, her effort, her talents, and love itself will make them as a whole better contributors to our society and men worth loving in return. “Hurt people, hurt people,” can sometimes be an understatement when it comes to the cycle of thoughtless selfishness of each human being on this planet when it comes to love.
Sometimes I can’t really find a way to convey many of my feelings. One day they will hear me say these words and they’ll know just how I feel about hurting the women or the woman they love. Maybe and only maybe free-will can take a back seat to good old-fashioned home training.
Women are not your property
If you mess up with a woman, one day she may walk away
The same way you can make her smile as bright as the sun shines
You can bring clouds and make her eyes rain
You are only responsible for what you DO, so be careful of what you say
If you don’t love her, even when she doesn’t have the strength in her legs, it’s your responsibility to walk away
Sometimes women don’t know how to love except by giving it all
It doesn’t mean it’s okay to take it
Be a real man and don’t ever fake it
Be a gentleman and even if the woman isn’t fully clothed
Give her the respect of a human being
Look her in her eyes
No, giving up and “doing you,” doesn’t mean you tried
Telling lies will make you despised
One day what you’ve given
You will certainly get
Even the purest love becomes sour when shrouded in regrets
Passion may not be love so only use the head on your shoulders
Time heals and 20/20 vision comes with time as you get older
If you love her, don’t let her go
Or a better man will woo her away no matter the seed you sewed
To be a man comes great responsibility
Many want women to follow
If your heart is empty, like a tree, it will not thrive because it is hollow
Please know for a clean slate you too are required to forgive
If love knocks you down once never regret
Love harder next time
You have the rest of your life to live
Don’t change or try to enhance her unless you have both said I do
If you don’t, she surely won’t
Neither should she
I hope you seek strength and wisdom comfort and security
Maybe she won’t be pure but full of life’s given maturity
You are not God’s gift to women
But only a gift from God to your father and I
Be sure to leave long before things go awry
I just want you to always remember that love and women are a treasure
The way a man treats his woman is one way his honor is truly measured
