When I saw the house it was an old relic but the scenery was amazing. After my brain was fried I took a break, I crept quietly to the bridge, tightened the dress between my legs, squatted down (because I was embarrassed and didn't want anyone to see me), and then BAM!! I did it! I did it!! I took the perfect selfie. My hair was perfectly coifed, water swished and swayed behind me and flowers bloomed. I did what was very hard for me to do next. I posted it to the Internet.

              It is always hard for me to post pictures of myself. I have never understood why or where it comes from. I put out a facade that I am confident and in many areas I am. But shadows, contours, and "the wrong light" have led me to hate selfies. With my disdain for selfies came my disdain for the excessive habitual selfie taker. You know the one. It is the person that stops and makes you think...'one more selfie out of this one and the next time I see them in person I promise I'm going to punch them in the suck whole!'

               I will admit I take selfies the same as everyone else. I cover it up by not posting it. I thought it vain, and self involved at first. I mean lets be real. Why do I need over 100 pictures of myself in my phone or on the Internet (side note, I may have more than that). The real thing is that we all take selfies. I have deleted hundreds of them due to bad lighting, not being able to figure out my best picturesque profile, or just completely lacking confidence in the photo. Either way, for whatever reason, I had come to loath the habitually excessive selfie taker. Seriously. I could not stand the person who pretty much takes the same damn photo every day. No matter the type: "before and before pictures", before and after pictures, as well as progression and pretend progression pictures for work outs, pregnancies, and hair. Goodness! You give a person a camera phone and they will show you everything. Why in the world are you profiling today what you looked like yesterday? Why? I am so serious. It bothered me until I had a pretty usual conversation with a friend who happened to be a habitually excessive selfie taker.

             "Yea the make up you do is beautiful!" I complimented her on her endeavors. Truth be told I forgave her for what I thought was vanity because she indeed advertised as a makeup artist. Beauty is her business. So selfies of her work were necessary although I righteously found them boring.

             "Thank you E. I appreciate it." She responded humbly.

             "Girl, I wish I had the energy to do the kind of work you do. Full face and all. I'm always so tired. But if I did I would flaunt it too." I spoke the truth. If I had her gift and knew my "good side" I would probably make love to the camera on the damn regular.

             "Truth be told I don't really wear makeup often. I don't walk around all day beat (the favored term for make up that is flawless)" she confessed.

            I couldn't believe it. Heck I didn't believe it. I mean she was a certified Selfie Queen. I should know, I follow her social media. I knew because I certified her myself (yes I felt like I had the answers and the right to label someone: silly and presumptuous of me). Then she went on.

            "I really just do it to make me happy. Sometimes I wake up depressed from crazy things going on in my life and I beat my face and almost instantly it just lifts my spirits."

            It caught me off guard. Such simple motives for a habit I found annoying. I cringed at my previous thoughts.

            "Damn, maybe I should try it."

            "You should E. You would be surprised at how it really works. One minute you are just in a mood and the next, you feel great because you look great. I share it so that others can feel the positivity you know."

              Almost instantly my perspective changed. You never know what other people are going through. We can never determine that. People will never tell you, I certainly won't. Thanks to social media something therapeutic changes into something other people loath and chastise.  Thanks to social media we look at things that are supposed to be genuinely happy moments and we criticize them to pieces and usually it is due to our own unhappiness. Many may never admit it but I am okay with speaking the truth. I misjudged it and was irritated by it because of my own challenges of not wanting to seem vain. A habit I picked up from reading so much criticism on social media. Social media can control you and misguide your perspective on things if we allow it. I think that it happens when we allow ourselves to be educated by it and not just entertained by it. We forget the social part that comes before the word media. Now I see selfies differently. It brightens my day to see others happy and it seems to be a way for people coping with not being just of the world we live in but active participants in this world and it fulfills a need to leave their stamp on it. After all it isn't enough to exist, we have to live, and if it helps them to reach others and do more than just merely exist then that is a wonderful thing.  God bless them for leaving their mark. No longer do I just like the pictures I see, I love them, may even leave a comment, and hope that it brightens their day.